The Woman Who Couldn’t Feel Scared
Let me tell you about Sarah. She had something wrong with her brain that made it impossible to feel scared.
Scientists showed her scary movies. Nothing. They put spiders on her hands. She just smiled. One time, a bad guy tried to rob her with a knife. She just said, “Go ahead, I don’t mind.”
Sarah taught us something huge: our brains actually MAKE our feelings. They don’t just happen to us. We create them.
Wild, right?
Your Brain Is Like a Guessing Machine
Here’s what’s really going on in your head. Your brain is playing a guessing game all day long.
It feels stuff happening in your body. Heart beating fast. Stomach feeling funny. Hands getting sweaty. Then it has to guess: “What does this mean?”
If your heart beats fast on a roller coaster, your brain goes, “This is fun!” If your heart beats fast in a dark alley, your brain goes, “This is scary!”
Same feeling in your body. Totally different emotion. Your brain just makes its best guess based on where you are and what’s happening.
The Magic Trick Inside Your Head
Scientists did this cool experiment. They gave people a shot that made their hearts race. But they didn’t tell them what it was.
Then they put some people in a room with happy people. Guess what? They felt happy. They put other people in a room with angry people. Those people felt angry.
Same shot. Same racing heart. But their brains made completely different feelings based on what was around them.
It’s like your brain is a chef. It takes the same ingredients (body feelings) and cooks different meals (emotions) based on the recipe it thinks fits best.
Why Babies Don’t Have Real Emotions Yet
You know how babies cry the same way whether they’re hungry, tired, or need a diaper change? That’s because they haven’t learned to make different emotions yet.
Babies just feel “good” or “bad.” That’s it.
As they grow up, they watch us. They learn that when your stomach feels empty and grumbly, that’s “hungry.” When your eyes feel heavy, that’s “tired.” When someone takes your toy, that hot feeling is “angry.”
We teach them how to turn body feelings into emotions. Pretty cool, huh?
The People Who Don’t Have Anger
This is my favorite story. There’s a group of people living in the Arctic who don’t have anger. Not just the word – they actually don’t feel what we call anger.
When someone does something bad, they feel a little disappointed, like “Oh well, people do silly things sometimes.” That’s it. No anger.
Their kids grow up never seeing anyone get mad. So they never learn to feel mad either.
This shows us that emotions aren’t the same everywhere. We learn them like we learn languages.
The Poker Player Who Tricked Her Brain
Annie was really good at poker. She won millions of dollars. Want to know her secret?
When her heart raced during a big game, most people would think, “I’m scared I’ll lose.” But Annie told herself, “I’m excited I’m going to win!”
Same racing heart. Different story. Different feeling and Different choices in the game.
She literally taught her brain to make different emotions from the same body feelings. And it worked!
Your Body’s Special Chemicals
Your brain is like a soda fountain, mixing different chemicals all day long. But here’s the thing – these chemicals don’t make specific feelings.
There’s no “happy chemical” or “sad chemical.” Instead, these chemicals make your body feel different ways. Then your brain decides what emotion to make from those feelings.
It’s like this: When you eat candy, a chemical makes your body feel good. Your brain says, “This is happiness!” But that same chemical also shows up when you’re worried about a test. Then your brain says, “This is stress!”
Same chemical. Different emotion. Your brain is the one deciding.
The Soldier Who Changed His Mind
David wanted to be a Navy SEAL, but training was super hard. His body hurt everywhere. At first, his brain said, “This pain means I should quit.”
But then David did something smart. When his muscles hurt, he told himself, “This is my body getting stronger!” When he couldn’t breathe, he said, “This is what victory feels like!”
He didn’t make the pain go away. He just taught his brain to make different emotions from the pain. Instead of “suffering,” his brain made “excitement.”
And guess what? He passed the training.
Why Surprises Feel Weird
Your brain is always trying to guess what’s going to happen next. When it guesses wrong – surprise! – it feels weird.
That’s why some people hate surprises. Their brain goes, “I guessed wrong! This is bad!” and makes worry or fear.
But other people love surprises. Their brain goes, “I guessed wrong! This is exciting!” and makes joy.
Same wrong guess. Different emotion. You get to help choose which one.
The Kids Who Feel Everything Stronger
Some kids feel emotions way stronger than others. It’s not because more is happening to them. It’s because their brains make bigger emotions from smaller body feelings.
Like, you might not even notice when the room gets a tiny bit warmer. But some kids’ brains go, “SOMETHING CHANGED! THIS IS TERRIBLE!” and make huge worry from that tiny feeling.
Once these kids understand what’s happening, they can learn to notice the small feelings without making huge emotions from them. It’s like turning down the volume on a speaker.
What Meditation Actually Does
You know when grown-ups say “take a deep breath” when you’re upset? There’s a reason for that.
People who meditate a lot can feel all the same body stuff we do – fast heartbeat, tight muscles, hot face. But they don’t immediately turn it into emotions.
They just notice: “Oh, my heart is beating fast.” Period. Then they can choose: Do I want to make this into excitement? Fear? Or just let it be a fast heartbeat?
It’s like they learned to pause the emotion-making machine in their brain.
Words Make New Feelings
This is super cool: The more feeling words you know, the more feelings you can have!
If you only know “sad,” then all your down feelings become “sad.” But if you learn “disappointed,” “lonely,” and “discouraged,” suddenly you can feel those specific things.
It’s like having a bigger box of crayons. With 8 colors, you can make good pictures. With 64 colors, you can make amazing ones. Emotion words are like colors for your feelings.
Your Brain’s Recipe Book
Your brain makes emotions like this:
- Notice what your body feels
- Look around to see what’s happening
- Remember similar times from before
- Mix it all together and create an emotion
You can change the recipe! Change what you notice. Change what you pay attention to. Remember different stuff. And boom – different emotion.
You’re not stuck with whatever emotion your brain makes first. You can be the chef!
The Boss Who Changed Her Feelings
There was this big boss named Indra. People sent her mean letters every day. At first, it made her stomach hurt and her brain said, “This is sadness and anger.”
Then she had a smart idea. Same hurt stomach, but now she told herself, “This means people really care about the company!” Her brain started making “determination” instead of sadness.
Same letters, Same stomach feeling. Totally different emotion. She became a better boss just by changing the story her brain told about her body feelings.
The Truth Nobody Tells Kids
Here’s the biggest secret: You’re not HAVING emotions. You’re MAKING them. Every single feeling you’ve ever had was built by your brain, like building with Legos.
Your brain takes:
- What your body feels
- What’s happening around you
- What happened before in similar situations
And builds an emotion from those pieces.
This means you’re not stuck with whatever you feel. You can learn to build different emotions from the same pieces.
You’re not just feeling your feelings. You’re creating them.
And once you know that? Everything changes.
Try This Right Now
Next time you feel big emotions:
- Stop and notice: What does my body actually feel? (Heart fast? Stomach tight?)
- Ask yourself: What’s my brain’s guess about what this means?
- Wonder: What else could these body feelings mean?
You might discover you’re way more in charge of your feelings than you thought.
Pretty amazing, right? You’re not just a person who has emotions. You’re an emotion maker. And you’re getting better at it every single day.
What emotion do you think you’re making right now? Remember – your brain is taking your body feelings and turning them into emotions this very second. You’re doing magic and you didn’t even know it!
